The United Monarchal Provinces of South Poopistan is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by King Grey III with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.187 billion Halans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tiporile. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Halan economy, worth 482 trillion Tiporilise Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 78,038 Tiporilise Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma, people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler', and elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. South Poopistan's national animal is the Northern Tiporile Elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

South Poopistan is ranked 14,699^th in the world and 10^th in Ridgefield for Safest, scoring 116.73 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.